This is it, seven minutes more and the year is over. I can't say that I've kept up my end of the bargain in maintaining this blog but it's been a start. Earlier this evening I spoke to Poy about how its hard to think of 2009 in the positive when I've been going through some hard stuff at work. It seems that there are more bad stuff going on rather than good stuff. It's hard but I have to be grateful for the past year and I look forward to a better, healthier and happier 2010.
With that I'll be signing off... Happy new year! :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
It's December already?!?!
Things are certainly becoming clearer as 2009 draws to a close. There are realizations and decisions that have to be made. I am excited and afraid at the same time. I think that I have finally accepted that not everything is clear-cut and black and white. I know that I shall have to stay in the grey area for some time just until I wade through it and get to the other side.
Sheeet. Emo.
But seriously 2009 has been a year of revelations and self-discovery. Here are just some that I've been able to think up:
1. I like cutting and pasting pieces of paper.
2. My weakness is Oh Georg's Chocolate Decadence and Cheesecake.
3. I don't like to be kept waiting.
4. I'm an old soul.
5. I'm insecure of the success of people especially those who are younger than me.
6. I like math.
7. and budgets.
8. I love to write but can't seem to keep at it.
9. Which makes me think that maybe it's not the best career choice if I can't sustain it.
10. I'm an emotional eater, which is horrible.
11. I really missed Gino this year...
12. but we're still together so that means I'm making this long distance relationship work.
13. I'm protective of my family.
14. I can be rude and tactless sometimes.
15. I rely on reinforcement and support from people when I make serious life changes.
15 should be a good enough number... but really if there's anything that I've learned this year (and also from the company-mandated 7 Habits Seminar) is that I have to take responsibility for my life and what I've made of it.
2010 should make for a very interesting year. :)
Sheeet. Emo.
But seriously 2009 has been a year of revelations and self-discovery. Here are just some that I've been able to think up:
1. I like cutting and pasting pieces of paper.
2. My weakness is Oh Georg's Chocolate Decadence and Cheesecake.
3. I don't like to be kept waiting.
4. I'm an old soul.
5. I'm insecure of the success of people especially those who are younger than me.
6. I like math.
7. and budgets.
8. I love to write but can't seem to keep at it.
9. Which makes me think that maybe it's not the best career choice if I can't sustain it.
10. I'm an emotional eater, which is horrible.
11. I really missed Gino this year...
12. but we're still together so that means I'm making this long distance relationship work.
13. I'm protective of my family.
14. I can be rude and tactless sometimes.
15. I rely on reinforcement and support from people when I make serious life changes.
15 should be a good enough number... but really if there's anything that I've learned this year (and also from the company-mandated 7 Habits Seminar) is that I have to take responsibility for my life and what I've made of it.
2010 should make for a very interesting year. :)
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Write Thing
I always wanted to be writer. I can remember making up stories and making little "booklets" using bond paper and staples. I tried to illustrate these creations but unfortunately I am a better writer than I am an artist. When I got older, I used to write about how I wanted my life to go. I'd use my friends as inspiration or movies and other books. I used to write poems - about love, heartbreak, beauty, sadness, anger. I would feel a sense of satisfaction if I got to write what I felt down on a piece of paper and have these words express what I really and truly feel.
What happened?
When did I get so lazy? Was it complacency? Did I think I was good enough already? Or was it fear? Fear of being criticized? Or insecurity? Am I just not good enough? I guess a bit of all those things. I don't really know.
Do I want to write more? Yes.
Do I want to write for a living? I don't know.
My boss told me that I would never make a lot of money if I did. And okay, yes to some extent, she's right. What I need right now is financial stability. But oh... to be able to do something that I love. To be my own boss. To have people read what you have to say and think "she makes sense." That would just be the awesome-est.
When I started this blog, I promised myself I'd write more and I don't think I've been able to do that. Is this for 2010 instead? Will I have to make a twenty-ten blog? For now, I guess I'm glad I got this out and its been good to be able to type it, though I'd much prefer pen and paper.
What happened?
When did I get so lazy? Was it complacency? Did I think I was good enough already? Or was it fear? Fear of being criticized? Or insecurity? Am I just not good enough? I guess a bit of all those things. I don't really know.
Do I want to write more? Yes.
Do I want to write for a living? I don't know.
My boss told me that I would never make a lot of money if I did. And okay, yes to some extent, she's right. What I need right now is financial stability. But oh... to be able to do something that I love. To be my own boss. To have people read what you have to say and think "she makes sense." That would just be the awesome-est.
When I started this blog, I promised myself I'd write more and I don't think I've been able to do that. Is this for 2010 instead? Will I have to make a twenty-ten blog? For now, I guess I'm glad I got this out and its been good to be able to type it, though I'd much prefer pen and paper.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Denied Visa: The September Updates
Today would've been my last day at the office.
Some four weeks ago, I mentioned that it was hasta la vista Spain for me. But I got to talking with the boss/ immigration head who said give it a few weeks or months for my head to clear, and confirm my plane booking. Confused with the metaphor? So am I. This topic is wearing me out a bit so I'll not talk about it until I figure things out.
So what awesome thing have I done lately?
I did the Sky Walk! 36 floors above ground, hella scary but I'm happy I did it. Only about a meter (?) wide and only a harness keeping me from dying. Forty-five minutes later, my legs are drenched from the sweat. Would I do it again? NO. But should you? YES!
Visit Sky Experience Adventure's website for rates and rides - http://www.skyexperienceadventure.com
Some four weeks ago, I mentioned that it was hasta la vista Spain for me. But I got to talking with the boss/ immigration head who said give it a few weeks or months for my head to clear, and confirm my plane booking. Confused with the metaphor? So am I. This topic is wearing me out a bit so I'll not talk about it until I figure things out.
So what awesome thing have I done lately?
I did the Sky Walk! 36 floors above ground, hella scary but I'm happy I did it. Only about a meter (?) wide and only a harness keeping me from dying. Forty-five minutes later, my legs are drenched from the sweat. Would I do it again? NO. But should you? YES!
Visit Sky Experience Adventure's website for rates and rides - http://www.skyexperienceadventure.com
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The One Where I Decide to be almost as Emo as when I was a 16-year old
I hate wearing watches. I always have. Whenever I'd be given one as a birthday or a Christmas present, I'd wear it for a day and then stuff it back in its box and leave it forgotten in the dresser until I'd discover its batteries have run out and the hands no longer tick.
But since I've been working for six months, I've been wearing a plain silver watch that my Papa gave my Mum how many years ago. I used to always say, I'd never wear a watch. If I would ever wear one, it'd be purely as an accessory. 'Who needs a watch, when your mobile phone can tell the time?'
But I guess things change. You grow up, get over the watch 'rashes' and stop wearing leather straps.
Is it a coincidence? Me wearing watches after Papa died? Yes. But can I use it a metaphor? Definitely.
See, I've never thought I would get to this age. I always thought I would die at a young age just because I didn't have all the answers, because I couldn't see the future - because everything was uncertain. And I hate uncertainty. I rarely take chances and abhor the idea of regret.
When I was in high school, I couldn't decide on what course to take because I simply couldn't see myself beyond the carefree life of high school. In college, when I had finally settled on a course, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do in life because I couldn't see myself doing anything else except study. When I did get into my first job, I was afraid to quit because I had no idea what else I could do out there in the 'real world.' And now finally on my second job, I am still lost and teetering at the edge of 24 into 25 years old and still afraid of not having achieved anything.
Wearing a watch has served as a constant reminder. A reminder of the hours, minutes and seconds that pass by that is ultimately time that I'll never get back. Time that I have wasted.
Loosing someone so important in my life hit me so hard, it might as well have been right between the eyes. Death is inevitable. The time that we have now, we have to spend with the people we love and doing the things that we are passionate about. I read all these articles and hear advice from friends that failures are life's greatest teachers. We have to fail, we have to experiment, we have to make mistakes and start over and rise above, to succeed and to soar.
So as I look at my watch and weigh the months, days and weeks that I'll never get back and the months, days and weeks that I have yet to live, I'd rather spend this time fucking up and learning the hard way. Because if regret is my worst fear, I'm going to do my damndest to make sure it never catches up with me.
So I guess what I've been trying to say is that I'm resigning from Spain. When exactly? I don't know yet. The important thing is that I've decided. And its a huge load off my chest.
If HR reads this, I guess they'll have to blame the watch.
But since I've been working for six months, I've been wearing a plain silver watch that my Papa gave my Mum how many years ago. I used to always say, I'd never wear a watch. If I would ever wear one, it'd be purely as an accessory. 'Who needs a watch, when your mobile phone can tell the time?'
But I guess things change. You grow up, get over the watch 'rashes' and stop wearing leather straps.
Is it a coincidence? Me wearing watches after Papa died? Yes. But can I use it a metaphor? Definitely.
See, I've never thought I would get to this age. I always thought I would die at a young age just because I didn't have all the answers, because I couldn't see the future - because everything was uncertain. And I hate uncertainty. I rarely take chances and abhor the idea of regret.
When I was in high school, I couldn't decide on what course to take because I simply couldn't see myself beyond the carefree life of high school. In college, when I had finally settled on a course, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do in life because I couldn't see myself doing anything else except study. When I did get into my first job, I was afraid to quit because I had no idea what else I could do out there in the 'real world.' And now finally on my second job, I am still lost and teetering at the edge of 24 into 25 years old and still afraid of not having achieved anything.
Wearing a watch has served as a constant reminder. A reminder of the hours, minutes and seconds that pass by that is ultimately time that I'll never get back. Time that I have wasted.
Loosing someone so important in my life hit me so hard, it might as well have been right between the eyes. Death is inevitable. The time that we have now, we have to spend with the people we love and doing the things that we are passionate about. I read all these articles and hear advice from friends that failures are life's greatest teachers. We have to fail, we have to experiment, we have to make mistakes and start over and rise above, to succeed and to soar.
So as I look at my watch and weigh the months, days and weeks that I'll never get back and the months, days and weeks that I have yet to live, I'd rather spend this time fucking up and learning the hard way. Because if regret is my worst fear, I'm going to do my damndest to make sure it never catches up with me.
So I guess what I've been trying to say is that I'm resigning from Spain. When exactly? I don't know yet. The important thing is that I've decided. And its a huge load off my chest.
If HR reads this, I guess they'll have to blame the watch.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Beautiful Mindanao
These are the photos that I haven't been able to post. Family trip last June.
I've been toying with the idea of living in Mindanao. Life is relaxed and easy and none of city stress. I'd like to live there but have wi-fi and bigger rest rooms please. hehe Those are my conditions.
Photos!
Watch as the beach goes from this....
Family completeness in Dakak Beach Resort, Dapitan, June 3, 2009
Winning photo of 2009
At Eriberta Spring Resort
It's as cold as it looks
I've been toying with the idea of living in Mindanao. Life is relaxed and easy and none of city stress. I'd like to live there but have wi-fi and bigger rest rooms please. hehe Those are my conditions.
Photos!
Watch as the beach goes from this....
...to this in two hours time.
Family completeness in Dakak Beach Resort, Dapitan, June 3, 2009
Winning photo of 2009
At Eriberta Spring Resort
It's as cold as it looks
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